White Orchid Melody Blog

Last week I started reading Vegetable, Animal, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It was so good I even took it to Istanbul with me. And yes, I had time for reading while there. Traveling with a toddler is very different than on your own. Naptime is mandatory. So, while he napped, I napped a bit, then read.

The book is the story of one family’s decision to eat locally for a year. They planned to feed themselves from their own garden, local farms, and the farmers’ market. This means no bananas from South America, no apples from New Zealand. Do you know where your food comes from? If you are like me, you probably never really thought about it.

I have thought about it insofar as to say that while living in St. Louis it was more important to me to eat organic food than local food. This is because of Monsanto, of course. In that neighborhood, if it isn’t organically certified it’s probably genetically modified. But anyway. That was as far as I thought about the issue.

Fast forward to 2010: I’m living in Italy. I buy a lot of my food locally, all my produce for sure. But I’m still making these mammoth shopping trips to the base once a month for “staples.” Staples, really? Are they really staples if people here don’t buy them? Well, partly it is a financial thing, with some foods being cheaper. Partly it is familiarity, not having to figure out what is the local equivalent. Very little of it is truly unavailable here. I’ve just been lazy.

In reading this book I realized the true price of my laziness. Not only does going shopping at the base stress me out and leave me in an ill mood, it also costs enormous resources, both in fossil fuels and tax dollars. That food is mostly priced the same here as in the states. In reality it is much more expensive for having been shipped overseas. Who pays the difference? The tax payer, of course. This was all the motivation I needed to kill those monthly trips. Truth be told, I can live without cheddar cheese. And that is about the only thing that is truly unavailable at the local stores.

So, I feel kind of stupid. I mean I know I’m only human, and we are all notoriously naive about all sorts of things. But one of my motivations for being vegetarian is caring about our planet and being opposed to factory farming. Meat is definitely the big boy when it comes to detrimental farming practices, but shipping regular food staples all over the planet instead of getting them locally is just as bad for the environment. So, I am confessing my idiocy and pledging to do better.

The book talks about how detached we have become from our food sources. We, as Americans, have no idea where our food comes from or when it is in season. If you actually buy fresh fruit and vegetables and not all processed crap, you are that much closer to your food, but still. You probably buy South American bananas every week, not just as an occasional treat. I have heard stories from when our parents were small about getting citrus fruit for christmas. This sounded crazy to me. (Fruit? What about toys?) But winter is citrus season in the US, so it makes sense. It was a winter treat. The fact that we now have bags of oranges year round isn’t natural.

Moving here, I have been so amazed by how good everything tastes. I thought it was the volcanic soil, but now I realize it is the difference in eating with the seasons. I bought fresh cherries today that are just to die for! I hated cherries in the states because I’d never tried any that were good, probably because they didn’t grow near where I lived. Same for sweet peppers. We have the most amazing red and yellow peppers here. They really are “sweet” peppers, not bitter like the ones you buy in American supermarkets.

I love good food. In my opinion, life is simply too short to eat food that doesn’t taste good. We aren’t designed to eat food that doesn’t taste good. Factory farmed food that has been shipped halfway across the country started out with less flavor and then lost what it did have in shipping. In nature, flavor equals nutrition. When you detox from processed crap and start eating real food, you realize your body craves certain flavors based on what nutrients you need. Your body craves heavier food in the winter to keep warm and lighter food in the summer when it is hot. Your body knows what it is doing.

Not only have we forgotten where our food comes from and when it naturally appears, but we have also forgotten what to do with it. What do you do in January or February when (you don’t live in southern Italy and) there isn’t fresh produce? You eat the food you preserved in the summer when it was abundant. Preserving food is a lost art. I have a date with my mother-in-law for sometime in the future when we are stateside to show me how to can food. Even if you don’t have your own garden, you can go to the farmers’ market and buy a boatload of whatever is in season and put it away in bags in your freezer or canned in the basement. Don’t think you have space? Stop buying things in cardboard boxes and you’ll find you have more space in your freezer (and probably more dollars in your wallet).

While living here, I will continue to eat whatever is available at the market whenever it is available, rather than trying to preserve things. I don’t think there was any point this winter that we didn’t have relatively local produce at the corner market. Sometimes from Sicily, but that is still pretty close. But whenever we move back to the states, I will certainly be planning ahead for winter when produce is not available locally. This week I’ll be venturing out locally to see if I can’t check off the items on my shopping list without wasting all those resources. It’s just one more thing I can do to make the world a better place. Every little bit helps!

I love books. I love to read them. I love to have them around. My darling husband is always quick to point out that having shelves and shelves of books is the antithesis of simple living. He does his part to prevent a complete invasion of our living space by picking up books for me from the library. But I still buy books. I am particularly fond of hardcover books. I don’t generally buy hardcover in new releases (in fact, I don’t really read many new releases). But I would like to have a library of classics, so I’m always on the lookout for hardcover classics. I stumbled across these the other day:
Aren’t they beautiful? The one on the far right is The Picture of Dorian Gray. I love that book, and isn’t the cover gorgeous? So, anyway, I want all of these!!! I recently went through my hardcover books and removed the dust covers. I don’t know why I didn’t do it when I first got them. Dust cover = protection from dust? I don’t know. But it occurred to me one day that they just slide around and get torn and are generally annoying. So, I threw them all away. To my surprise, most of the books were white, black, or blue underneath the dust covers. So, I just love that these Penguin classics are so colorful. They will make a lovely addition to my bookshelves. (Much to my husband’s dismay.)

Why isn’t everyone happy all the time? I think it is because we are all really bored. The reality with which we have surrounded ourselves is boring. And we are all going crazy. But not in a good way. Granted there are some who are unhappy for other reasons, but I think the general malaise that has infected our world is a symptom of boredom, simply lack of imagination and adventure in day to day life.

It isn’t lack of faith or law or discipline that is killing us. No, we are dying of boredom. We are destroying our world because we have nothing better to do.

Where has our collective imagination gone? Children are so imaginative. They often do not understand the difference between the things they dream up and what everyone else considers real. Eventually, through the diligence of their loving caretakers, they come to understand what is “real” and what is “pretend.” At first, they go along with the game. But usually by the time the child becomes a teenager, he or she realizes that this reality stuff isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Teen angst sets in. The search for identity and all the weirdness that goes with it dominates the person’s life. Then somewhere along the way, one is convinced, once more, that it is time to grow up and be responsible. And that is the beginning of the end.

You are now a responsible adult. Boooorrrring! If you do have any fun it is probably in the form of mindless entertainment to dull the pain of your boring existance. I remember when I started my first job after college. I had never been one to watch much TV. I was too busy in school and we didn’t have cable, so there wasn’t really anything interesting to watch anyway. But now, I was at this job and it seemed like the topic of conversation every morning was the previous evenings TV shows. I felt so left out. I had nothing to talk about with my coworkers. So, I began to conform. Oddly, this was something I’d managed to avoid all throughout high school and college. Everything happens for a reason, though, so I won’t knock it. In reality, that job really helped me open up to other people and figure out how to get along, how to relate, even if it meant discussing TV shows. Unlike in school, you can’t really avoid people you don’t like in the workplace. But even though I can look back and say “lesson learned,” I must also say “boooorrring!”

I find that I’m happiest when I’m using my creative energy in an appropriate fashion, i.e. painting a portrait as opposed to coming up with clever ways to nag my husband. Being creative is key to living a happy life. And there are all sorts of creativity. Ultimately we are all engaged in the creation of our life story; so every minute of every day is creative. But life also needs a little bit of absurdity.

I recently read a book Pronoia (the antidote to Paranoia) which is all about how everyone is all lucy-goosey-the-sky-is-falling bad news all the time. It offers the alternatives to this “pop nihilism.” I’ve been avoiding the news for quite sometime now, and life is better. We don’t have a TV at all, and life is better. I don’t buy magazines or newspapers. So, I don’t have anyone telling me what I should want. I get to decide for myself. It’s pretty amazing. Part of the Pronoia strategy is focusing on the positive and stepping outside the materialism. But there is another part, which is injecting fun into the space that is left. It is about thinking outside the box completely, questioning everything everyone has ever told you, believing everything and nothing at the same time. How long has it been since you played make-believe? Too long, I’m sure. How long has it been since you wore your Halloween costume on a day other than Halloween? Probably not since you were three. But perhaps we’d all be happier if we didn’t take ourselves and each other so seriously.

So, dress up, climb a tree, write a love song, or do all three at once. Feel what it is like to be alive again!

I recently read Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. I absolutely loved this book! It came out in 2007 I believe, so I guess I’m a bit behind the power curve. They are making a movie of it, though, so anyone else that hasn’t read it probably will soon! Anyway, I had heard of the book, but I’m generally not one to read books just because they hit the bestsellers lists. In fact, right now I’m working my way through a massive list of Classics. But I stumbled across a video of the author Elizabeth Gilbert talking about creativity. I loved the speech and her witty style, so I looked up the book. It sounded interesting, but I was not prepared to love it as much as I did! Books/stories/messages have a way of coming when I need them most.

It is less a travel memoir than an account of a spiritual journey. It is a very personal story, but told in a light and entertaining way. She begins at a time of a major life questioning, when a person realizes that the life he or she has constructed just doesn’t fit. Many of us have been there. I know I’ve gone through this gradually over the past several years, attempting to purge out the things that aren’t working. Her story is a bit more dramatic. She pretty much runs away from everything to find herself. Some would say that was irresponsible and selfish. But I’d question how good of an idea it would have been to be miserable in a life she didn’t love. You only get one shot at this! No one should be settling for less than their heart’s content. And ultimately the end justifies the means. She does in fact find herself. She also finds healing and self-forgiveness.

Initially she is dealing with a great deal of guilt over deciding that she didn’t want everything she was supposed to have wanted. It is a difficult realization, a disillusionment, to find out that all those things you were supposed to want in life did not, in fact, make you happy. ‘Cause then what? One must start all over and find out what does in fact make a person happy. What is likely taking me ten years took her about a year–that’s super intensive soul searching!

She spends four months in each of the countries. In Italy she learns about pleasure by eating lots of pastries and pasta and wine, (don’t I know all about that!?) and by getting to know some local Italians. From what I have experienced, they really are an Epicurean people. They do what they like, what feels good. They are passionate. They get angry, of course, but there is none of that brooding stress that infects Americans. They know how to enjoy life.

After experiencing a bit of la dolce vita, she heads to India, for the exact opposite. She goes to spend 4 months studying meditation and yoga (and eating vegetarian) at an ashram. Basically there aren’t many distractions from finding oneself…there is no choice when one is all alone with her head for hours, and hours, and hours a day. She works through a lot of her guilt and other issues while there. She has a physical experience of enlightenment, of knowing that we are all God. A feeling she is quick to point out is easy to understand cerebrally, but not the easiest concept to adhere to in your day to day life.

Next she heads over to Bali. As by this point she has gotten herself more internally righted, the section reads a bit more like an entertaining novel than like the previous sections’ search for inner peace. But there are still obstacles to overcome. She is determined to avoid relationships since she is coming off bad experiences. However, she finds love in Bali. It kind of brings things full circle. You can’t cut yourself off from the world just to stay sane. Life isn’t about avoiding pain, it’s about seeking happiness. I will say however, that the book would have been just as good without the tidy, happy ending. Her journey in finding herself, the ups and the downs, was really the best part.

This book has a lot of reviews on Amazon. People either love it or hate it. First, it is really a book for women. I think the issues with which she struggles truly are gender specific. Second, you have to be an open-minded reader. She runs away from her life! If you are going into this with an attitude of judgement and condemnation, you aren’t going to enjoy the ride. There are a lot of people in the world who think you have to live by the rules (whose rules? I don’t know). That if you don’t want all the things you are supposed to want, that something is wrong with you. Why should you want more when everyone else is perfectly happy with status quo? Well, most people aren’t perfectly happy. If people would truly reflect on the life they are living, particularly that of middle class America, they’d find that there is a good deal of conspicuous consumption going on…something to fill the void. Good for Ms. Gilbert for realizing early on that you have to get to the heart of the matter, that all the things in the world won’t make up for not knowing who you really are.

I recently discovered an interesting website sure to waste gobs of time! It is http://www.ted.com/, and the mission of the site is “ideas worth spreading.” So, you can watch hours, or maybe days or weeks, worth of videos about all sorts of interesting things. One of the videos I watched today was from John Maeda who is currently the president of Rhode Island School of Design. He has a book called the Laws of Simplicity. You can get an overview of these at http://www.lawsofsimplicty.com/. Good food for thought.

I’ve been reading a new book in hopes of getting motivated to run again. The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women: Get Off Your Butt and On with Your Training is a very entertaining read. It is more of a motivational read than a detailed training schedule. The author, Dawn Dais, includes journal entries from when she was training for her marathon. The entries are very candid and quite hysterical. She is very honest about the hell that is distance running. I have already run a marathon, so I know what she writes is true.

Brian was wondering why I was reading this at all considering I’ve already done a marathon. He pointed out that I could probably write a book like that myself. That may be true, but the book is very inspirational nonetheless. I saw it in a store and read the first part of chapter 5: the limit. She writes about how some of us (like yours truly) glide through life without really challenging ourselves. We take the easy street (a sign of intelligence, I’d say). But sometimes when you are cruising down easy street a little voice in the back of your head peeps up and asks if you are really reaching your full potential.

The author suggests that training for a marathon is a way to push yourself to a limit you never dreamed possible. I’d agree. I used to be the kind of person who would only run if something vicious was chasing me. Then I figured out that running was a good way to burn belly fat, which I seem to have an abundance of when I don’t run. But run a marathon? Are you kidding me? So, I was invited to go on a long run with a group, 12 miles that run was. Obviously I was suffering from temporary insanity when I agreed to go, and then actually showed up. To my amazement, I survived 12 miles of running (albeit, very slow running). That was over twice as far as I’d ever run in my life. So I figured if I survived that I’d have to train for the 26.2 if I was going to really challenge myself. And I discovered that the body adapts (eventually) to whatever you throw at it. It voices lots of objections along the way, of course. But, you know, I really didn’t feel too bad when I finished that marathon. Don’t get me wrong. I was really, really glad when it was over. And I was hating life the next day when I couldn’t even squat on the toilet without screaming from the pain. And then there were the toenails that fell off. But I survived. And here’s the really sick part….

I want to do it again.

Color me crazy. I know. Shouldn’t I just check that box and let it be? I’m too slow to be one of those marathon junkies. But as Dais points out in her book, you get to eat whatever you want and not gain a pound! That is huge for me. See, eating small amounts of food just isn’t fun. The 3 bite rule from that Skinny French Women Book? Whatever.

So, yeah, I want to be a “Runner” so that I can eat whatever I want. It isn’t like I want to subsist on cheeseburgers and french fries. I do eat healthy foods. I just like to eat a lot of healthy food. And I’m moving to Italy, so there will be ample opportunity for eating copious amounts of healthy food, all drenched in olive oil. Yum. So, yeah, I need to be running.

Brian tries to tell me to go run. But I’m as stubborn as he is and seldom do as I’m told. So, the sly fox that he is, he got me an iPod Shuffle for Christmas. It was a surprise. I’d been complaining about my old nano not keeping its charge. And we just got a new nano, which was Brian’s Christmas present. It holds all of our music and is great for in the car. But Brian had an ulterior motive in buying me the Shuffle. “It’s for running” he says. Ah, that again.

But he’s right. And I’d already been reading that book, trying to boost my motivation. I was even thinking I could keep a running journal here on my blog, so as to laugh at myself and inspire others while I attempt to get back in shape. So, today, shuffle loaded and sneakers laced I headed out for a jog. It was 25 degrees out, which, in my opinion, is far to cold to be outside. But I bundled up in several layers and bounded down the sidewalk. I never used to run on sidewalks. I guess I’ve gotten stupider with age. Because about a third of a mile from home, I tripped on someone’s stupid broken sidewalk. I went flying through the air then landed on my knee, my hip, and my hands. I got up as fast as possible (embarrassment is like a springboard) and tried to jog some more. Yep, that hurt. So, I tried walking. But did I mention it was only 25 degrees out? So everything started to stiffen up. So, I started jogging again. But back towards home.

My first jog with my new shuffle and my new motivation was a bust. So, now I’m lying on the sofa with a big gauze bandage and an ice pack on my knee, feeling foolish. But I’m sure I’ll feel better soon. And this is my first official running journal entry. So, I’ll have to go out again, or I’ll feel even stupider for having a label on my blog entitled “running journal” with only one entry.

I’ve been reading The Power of Nowby Eckhart Tolle. My mom recommended this book to me several years ago. I bought it but never got very far reading it. It’s my theory that things come to you when you are ready for them, so I kept it on the shelf. Well a few weeks ago I felt compelled to pick it up again. This time it spoke to me, held my interest.

The book is about how most people go through life with this constant monologue or dialogue running through their minds. The mind is never still or silent. Tolle’s aim is to make you aware of this stream of constant chatter and help you silence it, if only occasionally at first. Once you become aware of this chatter, it is easy to see patterns. Perhaps you’ll find that your mind produces worry or criticism on a regular basis. I have a mini soap opera going on in my head. I’m always coming up with worst case scenario on the pretense of being prepared. Tolle’s argument is that if you are in the “now” or staying in the present rather than letting the mind run away with you, you’ll be better prepared for worst case scenario. You’ll be tapping into the core of your being, your spirit, if you will. The spirit will see that whatever problems you have are only a moment in time. A problem isn’t a problem when it is happening. It is only the moment, and you are dealing with it. “Problems” become distressing when we dwell on the matter, often endlessly! How many times have you found yourself reliving something, thinking you should have said this or done that? I think a certain degree of that is necessary to decompress after a stressful event. But when it is still playing out in your mind weeks, months, or years later, it’s got to stop.

Will this book provide you with total enlightenment? I don’t know. But it offers some useful insight on how to be aware of the chatter and how to find some quiet. I figure we could all use a little quiet now and again. It’s a good book to pick up from your library.

What a great book! I just read The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss. It was fabulous! It is like a brilliant combination of Cashflow Quadrant, E-Myth Revisited, and Your Money or Your Life.

The biggest issue I have with the idea of simple living is that it often gets confused with frugal living. Frugal living has its place in the world, but it isn’t always simple. Conversely simple living isn’t always frugal. Your Money or Your Life is about frugality. The idea behind the frugality is enabling yourself to do what you really dream of in life, with the focus on the doing, not the having. The Rich Dad, Poor Dad series of books are about getting the passive income to cover your expenses in order to do whatever you want with your life, while also having the cash to buy whatever you want in life. So, the same basic premise, but two entirely different approaches.

4-Hour Work Week challenges you to first determine what it is that you want to do with your life when you don’t have to go to work every day. This is important because otherwise, you’ll just fall into another version of working yourself to death. With your goals in mind, you then determine exactly how much money you need per month. That dollar amount is your target for not only getting out of the rat race of needing a job to pay your monthly bills, but also having the excess cash to enjoy your new found freedom. This is what Your Money or Your Life lacks. It sets up a formula for achieving financial freedom, but it is the freedom to live frugally. The 4-Hour Work Week gives a formula for freedom to live “like a rock star“…if that’s what you want. That said, Ferriss also encourages the simplification of your life so as to provide ultimate mobility. So, get rid of all your excess crap. How much of that stuff do you really use? If you really look at your life, the most value is in experiences and memories, rather than the doodads you have lying around. Kiyosaki’s board game Cash Flow has spaces that correlate with cards called “doodads,” which are basically ways to waste your money. In the game, landing on these spaces is completely random, you must buy the doodad. Fortunately in real life, you can choose to stop the conspicuous consumption.

So, you define your goals and simplify your life to reflect your values. How then, to escape your job? This ties into the E-Myth Revisited, which explains how most entrepreneurs create themselves another job rather than a business. Ferriss stresses the importance of automation, taking yourself out of the way of your business. Start out with the end in mind. Plan it out from the beginning to be automated. This is easier with some businesses than others. He recommends marketing and selling your intellectual property as that is more difficult for someone to knock-off.

Once your job is replaced by passive income, you’re back to the beginning question, “what do you want to do?” If you figured that out to begin with, you’re ready to roll. Ferriss recommends “mini” retirements spread throughout the year. Travel becomes a true discovery of your destination, rather than a rushed, skim-the-surface tour. Ultimately when the charm of those initial goals wears thin, the “what to do with life” question resurfaces with more weight. Just as the authors discuss in Your Money or Your Life, you have to figure out what it is that will give your life meaning. Maybe it is writing a novel, or rescuing animals, or volunteering with local agencies. It’s the thing that pays you in ways other than money.

What did I take from the book? Well, Brian and I are brainstorming business ideas with a goal of having an automated business up and running (and profitable) by March ’09. The goal then is to have enough passive income by 2013 to get out of the rat race, quit our jobs, and travel. Meanwhile we are aggressively paying down all of our debt to reduce expenses so that the dollars we earn go further. Although, living abroad can be cheaper than the US in a lot of cases. Alex will be old enough to understand and learn from the experiences. And then we don’t have to worry about the public/private school issue here in the city…the answer is NEITHER! Imagine the education he could attain from world travel! I intend to make sure he never falls for the trap of thinking he needs school to get a job. Education should be for personal development. I want him to understand from a young age that the idea is to make a “life” not a “living.”

I’ve been reading a book that I checked out from the library entitled, The Complete Tightwad Gazette. It is basically a series of newsletters from the 6 year run of the Tightwad Gazette. It is a compilation of articles and research from the author, as well as lots of helpful hints sent in from readers.

The tips tend to be about getting the maximum use out of the minimum expense. So, buying things used (or getting them free from friends/family) and then maintaining them rather than just throwing them out when they need a repair. This is fiscally and ecologically sound advice. I once read an article by a “green” home designer who pointed out that spending extra money for “green” was absurd because the most economical choice was usually also the most ecological choice, such as building a smaller house. The author of the Tightwad Gazette, who titles herself, the “frugal zealot” points out that there are a few cases where buying new is best, such as with freezers/refrigerators (due to improvements in efficiency) and with computers (due to improvements in technology). But almost everything else, she buys used or salvages from free sources.

This got me thinking about my business plan for the shop I’d like to open. I’m working with a consultant on this and have written the business plan and even did a “faux shopping” exercise where I priced out everything I’d need for the shop. Well, turns out it was going to be much more expensive than I could afford to open. So, I have a few choices. One, abandon the idea altogether and find something more attainable. Two, save up for years and years until I can afford it. Or, three, find a way to do it cheaper. I’ve been pondering over that last option for a few months now. How can I make this happen sooner and for less cash? I wasn’t really thinking about the business when I started reading this book, but then I read an article in the book about a lady who had started a bed and breakfast. They bought the 20 room Victorian as a fixer-upper and started by renovating the common areas and a few guest rooms. As they brought in money from the first few guest rooms, they worked on renovating more. Meanwhile, they furnished the place with elegant pieces from estate sales, yard sales, flea markets and the like. They also bartered and traded for certain items. They had a dream and made it happen on their terms. How inspiring!

So it got me thinking about my “faux shopping” exercise. I’d chosen everything brand new from retail sources. I’d found the cheapest versions for the look I wanted, but still, I was paying a premium for all that “newness.” What if I took the time to accumulate the items from a variety of thrifty sources, including yard sales and thrift shops? How would that affect my budget? I think it could make a huge difference. Some of the ideas that appealed to me:

1. Estate/Yard Sales – tables, chairs, storage pieces, baskets, kid’s paint brushes, decorative items such as faux foliage, flatware, serving dishes, books

2. Flea Markets – decorative items, furniture

3. Building Supply (or surplus) Stores – the ReStore, run by Habitat for Humanity, has a random, ever-changing selection of building supplies, from tile to cabinets, to windows. Some of these items could be transformed into storage and display pieces for the shop.

4. Home Improvement Stores – reject paints: the ones that people had mixed and then didn’t claim, or that were mixed incorrectly. This could be great for adding color and fun to the salvaged furniture.

5. Other – I’d also like to look into going out of business sales and overstock type outlets. I’m not sure what exists in this area, but even a trip to Chicago could be worth it, if there were some good sources for used/discount supplies.

The biggest chunk of change in my business plan was the rent on a space. The area I was originally looking into was fairly expensive and buying was not an option. But I’ve been considering other neighborhoods, such as close to our own home, where we might be able to purchase as space, rather than leasing. Ideally, we’d find an old building with storefronts on the lower level and apartments above. We could rent the apartments to cover some of the mortgage, which would ease some of the business expenses. Plus if you own the building, you can build out however you’d like.

We’re not the average entrepreneurs who would need contractors and such to fix up and outfit a space. That will be a great savings on our part. If we own the building and are getting rental income from residential space, we can take our time fixing up the retail space without the pressure of that monthly rent outlay. So the combination of buying our own building and outfitting it with frugal finds gives me hope that my dream of opening the shop in the not so long term future may actually be possible.

We had a very nice trip home to see my family last week. The car ride was a bit long and very uncomfortable, but it was worth it. We stayed with my grandmother and she fed us non-stop! We probably consumed a month worth of calories over 4 days!

My cousin and his wife had a baby in October, so we got to meet him. It’s strange, even though I’m having a baby in just a couple months, I still have no desire to hold other people’s babies. It’s not that I dislike them or anything; I’m just not compelled. Anyway, they are following the attachment parenting method with their babe. It is one of those things that sounds good in theory, but makes me wonder about quality of life for the parents. It is more of a simple-living approach, but at what expense? Take co-sleeping, for example. It gets a lot of heat from different “authorities” on the degree of safety (concern for SIDS). But truthfully, it is done all over the world, and if done properly poses little risk to the infant. But from what I have read, ”properly” means that the parents cannot sleep with covers on the bed, as the infant could suffocate. That would never work for me. I am only content to sleep with my giant down comforter. I would feel naked without it! Furthermore, Brian is such a heavy sleeper, I’d be worried about him rolling over on the baby. And I sleep so lightly anyway, I think I’d be jolted awake everytime Brian moved or the baby wimpered. Quality of sleep matters. You aren’t getting much with an infant anyway, so it seems like you’ll want to sleep well when the opportunity arises.

Over the holiday, I read a book that a friend let me borrow, The Baby Whisperer. The author’s approach is somewhere between the Sears or attachment parenting method and the cry-it-out approach. I thought it was a good read. Some of her reasons behind avoiding “on-demand” feeding made sense to me. Parent sanity is top on the list. But also, she gave examples of parents feeding the baby too frequently, which with breastfeeding meant that the baby wasn’t getting the full cycle (to hind milk). This was causing indigestion for the babe and no sleep for anyone. I also appreciate the fact that this book was written by a woman who has been practicing what she preaches and has learned all this from her first hand experience, rather than by a doctor. I think in general, people get overly worked up about parenting techniques. I don’t think our parents were reading 58 books on how to raise their children. And most of us turned out okay. I, for one, don’t remember lying afraid in my crib. I don’t seem to have any permanent scars from that experience. But of course, this whole train of thought may be thrown right out the window when I actually bring my baby home!