White Orchid Melody Blog

What do you want to be when you grow up?

That is a terrible question. Much of my stress in life originated from that question. Answering it is like taking a life sentence! What if I choose the wrong path?! I’ve come to the conclusion that a better question is:

What do you want to be next?

Then you can think of the opportunity before you without fear of being right or wrong. If it doesn’t work out, then you move on to the next thing. Of course this alternative way of thinking does not align well with our current educational system. When you pay big bucks for a specific degree, you want to use it. But I think in the future that will change. I think the value of education has been decreasing at the same time that tuition has been increasing. A job that would have required a Bachelor’s degree 20 years ago, now requires a Master’s. And there are very few “professions” available to those with no degree.

But what if we all thought differently about work. There are people who do not keep 9-5 jobs. They work for awhile, then do whatever it is they like to do besides work. Then, when they need to, they work again. Generally the work they do is something that interests them…freelance, tutoring, or consulting in an area of expertise. One of my favorite books, Your Money or Your Life, talks about exactly that. The idea of that book is not to let your quest for money rule your life. Get your spending under control and simplify your needs so that you can spend time doing what you really want to do rather than being a slave to a paycheck. Some of the examples in the book detail people working in spurts, as mentioned above, or alternately, working just a few hours every day, instead of your standard 8-plus.

What would the world be like if more people focused making a life instead of making a living? Everything could change (for the better)! If most people worked part time, the education and healthcare systems would both be forced to adjust. Students would no longer be willing to pay expensive tuition. Employers would no longer be willing to pay for expensive health care benefits. What would happen instead? Well, not a government take over, that is for certain! But if the free market was allowed to fill in the gaps, think of what could happen. You could have educational opportunities outside of your standard government run universities. Think more like “continuing education” classes that some schools offer. Basically education based on specific interests. Of course if we are throwing out higher learning as an institution parents will carry more of the burden in teaching their children how to learn. Our current system doesn’t teach children how to learn, just how to fit into the box. But when you teach a child how to find answers, how to educate himself, his opportunities are endless. He is no longer constrained to one career path for the majority of his life. He can wander a bit, explore many options, experience more of all that life has to offer.

I, for one, have no set path laid out. I have several options brewing in my mind, many of which I’ve mentioned here before. The beauty and peace is in knowing that no matter what I choose it will be the right path for that moment. As soon as it stops being right for me, I can decide to do something else. This is living life with purpose and intent. This is creating life, rather than letting life drag you along.

It thawed out slightly here over the weekend. I was able to go for a nice 5 mile jog Sunday. I’m still amazed that running that far isn’t killing me. I’m tempted to try a truly long run, say 9 miles, but I don’t think my legs are quite ready for it. I don’t want to get injured and then not be able to jog at all.

Right now it is snowing. It is just a light drifty snow with big fat flakes, not amounting to much on the ground. I love snow. I wish we’d get a foot! I mean, if it is going to be cold anyway…

I have a bit of the winter blues. That super cold snap really got me down. It was entirely too cold to go outside, and I was starting to feel trapped. Times like that really challenge the whole one-car household concept. I was wishing we had a second vehicle so I could just get out of the house for a bit. In general though, I’m rather bored. We are in limbo right now, waiting for this move. So, where I might normally seek out some activity, now I have a “why bother” mentality. Not the healthiest perspective I guess.

Then the question comes up: what am I going to do once we move? I never pictured myself a stay-at-home-mom. And alas, its charm is wearing thin. Don’t misunderstand, I am thrilled that I got to spend Alex’s first year at home with him, watching him develop, experiencing his milestones. Despite the challenges, it was great. But now, I’m beginning to think he would benefit from some socialization (as would I).

Brian thinks I should get a job. But seeing as how I am philosophically opposed to jobs unless absolutely necessary, I’d rather not. He gets dollar signs in his eyes thinking of all the investments we could make with that extra savings. It is true that we’d have more money saved when we got back. But, really, it would have to be the most super fabulous, challenging, gratifying job ever to make me give up my pajamas.

He suggested I try to get a job with state department. I asked if there was a position that involved going to lots of parties. I’d be good at that, I think. I could even throw some parties…that’s one of my favorite things! We had some dinner guests the other night, and one said I could take drawing classes and Italian lessons, and I thought, “oh! that sounds much better than getting a job.”

What I really need to do is start up a business of my own some way, some how. I have about a zillion ideas, but not enough courage to start. Gotta work on that. I’m still afraid of failure. It is ridiculous when I think about it. I’m not leaving a high paying job or anything; really there is nowhere to go but up!

I finished the nude torso I was painting a couple weeks ago. I think it turned out nice. This was my first figure painting with acrylics (I learned with oils), so something of an experiment. The colors look much different from the in-progress version because of the lighting. My “studio” is my basement, so despite our best efforts, the lighting situation is not so great.

Anyway, I resumed working on the figure that I’d started about a year ago. I began in oil, and normally you wouldn’t want to paint over that in acrylic because it won’t set (like trying to mix water and oil). However, this had been dry so long it worked fine. I’ve worked on this one I guess three sessions now. I just have a bit more to do on the figure and then finish up on the flowers. I like it pretty well so far, but it still needs some work.

In other news, I got a new printer, the Epson Photo 1400. I was previously working with the Photo R200, so a big upgrade. The R200 was nice when I bought it a few years ago, but I was having an issue with printing from Photoshop CS2. The driver update for Photoshop color management only recognized Photoshop 6 or 7. So, it was never going to get my colors right. Very frustrating. Anyway, the new prints are beautiful, and it is a larger format printer. So I can print up to 13×19. Now that the printer situation is resolved, I’m starting to work on my digital scrapping baby book templates. The first one is for a friend of ours who just had a baby girl last month. It has been really good working on the layouts. I started out making black and white “sketches” of all the layouts, which I saved as templates. Then when I’m ready to create a book, I can pull those and drop in all the colors and textures. I have a girl version done, so now I just need a boy version, and a neutral. My templates will probably all be “gifts” to people we know. Then I’ll try to sell a few locally. If it tests well, we are going to build a website and try to get samples into some boutiques here.

I had a nice breakfast friday, with some friends with whom I’d worked at May Co. We got to talking about how different our lives are now versus when we were working. We were all making quite a bit of money, especially by midwestern standards. But we were all equally miserable. Where did all that money even go? I can’t believe how much I spent on clothes and shoes and crap for the house. A bunch of stuff I really didn’t need. And I probably wasn’t as bad as most people. But it was like a compulsion. I’d go to a store and feel like I HAD to buy something. It was a way of filling the void left by an abusive workplace. We were so degraded there. There was constant criticism. Our VP even admitted once that they were so negative and hard on us because they truly believed we wouldn’t work as hard if they gave us praise. Wow, hard to believe that company went out of business! Anyway, all three of us are on different career paths now. We could have gone and gotten fashion jobs making as much or more than we were at May, but we opted out of that whole scene. We were all really burnt out and bitter and our self esteem had suffered. We each realized that the money just wasn’t worth that. So even though our household incomes had been basically cut in half after quitting, we were much happier. And the interesting part was that our standards of living hadn’t really changed. All that money was pretty much down the drain to make up for our misery at work. I think a great deal of Americans fall into that pattern of rewarding themselves for putting up with an awful job, whether it is through shopping, drinking, or whatever addictive entertainment makes those 40+ hours a week tolerable. And why? For an illusion of security? Because working a 9-5 (or so) is a guaranteed paycheck? Well tell that to all those who’ve unexpectedly lost their jobs due to mergers and consolidations. There is no such thing as job security; it’s like Santa or the Easter Bunny. Of course, sometimes a job is necessary. Somebody has to bring in the money to pay the bills. The point of my reflection on my working days is that they were a big waste of my time because of how I spent my money. I should have been stashing away as much of my paycheck as possible to pay off student loans and for savings. At least that would have some tangible benefit for the future. If I had to have a job again, I would look at things very differently. I would make sure I was maximizing my income and using it in the absolute smartest way possible. It never makes sense to say “I deserve this because I work so hard.” If you wouldn’t buy it if you didn’t have the job, you shouldn’t buy it at all. Reward yourself by building a nest egg that will either let you retire from your job early, or maybe just quit altogether and pursue a different path. But realize that spending your money by shopping for things you really don’t need or by eating out all the time or by going to happy hour every friday won’t solve the problem at hand. That is just treating the symptoms, not what is causing them.

I’ve been reading a book that I checked out from the library entitled, The Complete Tightwad Gazette. It is basically a series of newsletters from the 6 year run of the Tightwad Gazette. It is a compilation of articles and research from the author, as well as lots of helpful hints sent in from readers.

The tips tend to be about getting the maximum use out of the minimum expense. So, buying things used (or getting them free from friends/family) and then maintaining them rather than just throwing them out when they need a repair. This is fiscally and ecologically sound advice. I once read an article by a “green” home designer who pointed out that spending extra money for “green” was absurd because the most economical choice was usually also the most ecological choice, such as building a smaller house. The author of the Tightwad Gazette, who titles herself, the “frugal zealot” points out that there are a few cases where buying new is best, such as with freezers/refrigerators (due to improvements in efficiency) and with computers (due to improvements in technology). But almost everything else, she buys used or salvages from free sources.

This got me thinking about my business plan for the shop I’d like to open. I’m working with a consultant on this and have written the business plan and even did a “faux shopping” exercise where I priced out everything I’d need for the shop. Well, turns out it was going to be much more expensive than I could afford to open. So, I have a few choices. One, abandon the idea altogether and find something more attainable. Two, save up for years and years until I can afford it. Or, three, find a way to do it cheaper. I’ve been pondering over that last option for a few months now. How can I make this happen sooner and for less cash? I wasn’t really thinking about the business when I started reading this book, but then I read an article in the book about a lady who had started a bed and breakfast. They bought the 20 room Victorian as a fixer-upper and started by renovating the common areas and a few guest rooms. As they brought in money from the first few guest rooms, they worked on renovating more. Meanwhile, they furnished the place with elegant pieces from estate sales, yard sales, flea markets and the like. They also bartered and traded for certain items. They had a dream and made it happen on their terms. How inspiring!

So it got me thinking about my “faux shopping” exercise. I’d chosen everything brand new from retail sources. I’d found the cheapest versions for the look I wanted, but still, I was paying a premium for all that “newness.” What if I took the time to accumulate the items from a variety of thrifty sources, including yard sales and thrift shops? How would that affect my budget? I think it could make a huge difference. Some of the ideas that appealed to me:

1. Estate/Yard Sales – tables, chairs, storage pieces, baskets, kid’s paint brushes, decorative items such as faux foliage, flatware, serving dishes, books

2. Flea Markets – decorative items, furniture

3. Building Supply (or surplus) Stores – the ReStore, run by Habitat for Humanity, has a random, ever-changing selection of building supplies, from tile to cabinets, to windows. Some of these items could be transformed into storage and display pieces for the shop.

4. Home Improvement Stores – reject paints: the ones that people had mixed and then didn’t claim, or that were mixed incorrectly. This could be great for adding color and fun to the salvaged furniture.

5. Other – I’d also like to look into going out of business sales and overstock type outlets. I’m not sure what exists in this area, but even a trip to Chicago could be worth it, if there were some good sources for used/discount supplies.

The biggest chunk of change in my business plan was the rent on a space. The area I was originally looking into was fairly expensive and buying was not an option. But I’ve been considering other neighborhoods, such as close to our own home, where we might be able to purchase as space, rather than leasing. Ideally, we’d find an old building with storefronts on the lower level and apartments above. We could rent the apartments to cover some of the mortgage, which would ease some of the business expenses. Plus if you own the building, you can build out however you’d like.

We’re not the average entrepreneurs who would need contractors and such to fix up and outfit a space. That will be a great savings on our part. If we own the building and are getting rental income from residential space, we can take our time fixing up the retail space without the pressure of that monthly rent outlay. So the combination of buying our own building and outfitting it with frugal finds gives me hope that my dream of opening the shop in the not so long term future may actually be possible.

Personal development is an ongoing process throughout one’s life. No one is ever a perfect display of everything for which they have potential. A few virtues I’d like to expand upon in the new year are gratitude, structure, and diligence.

1. Gratitude
In our world of manic consumption, many of us never take the time for simple gratitude. Are we grateful for what we have, or distracted by our constant quest for more? I think sometimes it is a challenge to see the bright side of life when everything seems to be going wrong. It is easier to focus on the problems and complain about everything. But if you take a moment to evaluate all the things that comprise your life, you quickly recognize that not everything is bad. In fact, most of life is pretty good. There are probably just one or two things creating a black cloud over the rest. So instead of focusing on the storm clouds, look at everything that needs the rain to survive.

2. Structure
I have struggled with structure since leaving the corporate world. Everything was so structured there, I rebelled against all of that when I quit working. I’m a natural procrastinator anyway, which doesn’t help. Some people thrive on structure and organization. I’m a bit more free flowing than that. I can work like crazy under a deadline, but in my daily life, I prefer to be a bit more relaxed about things. The problem with this is I’m sometimes not as productive as I could be. And then there’s the procrastination issue. The things I don’t want to do, don’t get done for a very long time, such as filing. I like to have things neat and organized and know where they are, but I really hate to file. The best solution is to file as I go, and not let things pile up. I’m not very good about that, but I’m trying to improve. In reality, things are about to get much more structured for me. The baby will be on a certain feeding/sleeping cycle which I’ll have to work with and not against. So, I’m trying to practice a more structured approach to my day now, before I’m forced into it!

3. Diligence
This goes hand in hand with structure. The dictionary defines diligence as: constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind. I can be very diligent about some things. I ran a marthon, which took a persistent exertion of body and mind, during both training and the actual feat. But in other areas, I let my doubts (see point 1) or my procrastination (see point 2) get the best of me. This is particularly true in my business endeavors. Working on your own requires a great deal of discipline and confidence in order to persist. I tend to get discouraged and question my path. “Is this really the best use of my time?” Often I’m asking that question far too soon in the process when it is easy to answer “no.” There are no guaranteed results for anything. But through a diligent effort, one may find that they have at least exhausted the possibilities.

In summary, I hope to have a brighter perspective of life and be grateful for all my blessings. I seek to cultivate a more structured and productive approach to daily life. And I will exercise my capacity for diligence to follow through with opportunities that may cross my path, without letting fear deter me. I’m sure there are many other virtues I could improve upon in my life, but these I feel will cultivate a happier outlook and a stronger sense of well-being.