White Orchid Melody Blog

What really matters in life anyway? What is it that you’ll be so glad you did when you are on your deathbed? It most likely isn’t your job. Unless your job is doing something for which you have a true passion, but that is very rare. I think we all want to feel like we’ve contributed to the world in whatever way we best could. For some people that’s as simple as being a good mom (I said simple, not easy!). For others it’s advocating for the rights of those less fortunate.

Several months ago, I read The Art of Non-Conformity. It’s a great book about living life outside the rat race. Want to go back to school? Try his plan for a one-year independent study MBA, and save yourself a boatload of money. One of the things he brings up in the book, though, is that in order to really be fulfilled, you must find a way to give back to the world. We all want that feeling of having made a difference.

I’m not yet sure what that means for me. I have some long-term ideas about how I can make a difference by helping to motivate others to pursue their creative dreams. But the details of how to actually do that are still fuzzy. I’ve been of the mind recently that grad school is the way to go. If I get an MFA, I can teach. I really enjoyed the teaching I did before Alex was born, but do I want to do that full time? As far as jobs go, academia is pretty awesome. Summers off, anyone??? But one thing I know is that I’m not comfortable going into debt in order to get that degree. I value financial freedom more than any further education.

I fall into the trap of thinking, oh if I could just get that advanced degree then I could have a job I liked and make enough money to get by. But is all that really, truly, necessary? Or is it just an excuse to take the easy route? Degrees and jobs and career paths are the way things are done around here. It is a life script that we are all familiar with; it’s comfortable. To think of the alternatives is scary! No job? How will I survive? (Yes, I do have a husband, but the goal is for him to do what he loves, too!)

Our goal is to both be living our passion on a daily basis. And since we are two pretty headstrong people, our passion doesn’t involve taking direction from any one else. Not that we can’t. We’re both good at playing along with the corporate racket, but at the same time it kills one’s soul a little bit more every day. I know I could never have a corporate job again. Maybe I could handle academia. But do I really want that? Or do I want to have my days to myself and decide what I’d like to spend my time doing moment to moment?

Well, when you put it like that….

Another great book we read is Your Money or Your Life. The authors write about some unconventional approaches to work/life balance, with the general idea being to reduce your spending to the point of not needing to work as much. We’ve read other simple living books that espouse the same principles. And with that knowledge we have simplified our lives. We don’t buy so much useless crap. We choose quality products that will last a long time rather than what’s cheapest (this is also good for the planet, by the way). We aren’t perfect, and we definitely aren’t what you’d call thrifty, but most of our purchases are thoughtful at the very least. And we’ve come a long way from where we were when we first got married.

When I think about what I love to do, it’s obviously painting and writing. It’s not teaching. So why would teaching be my full time job when what I actually want to spend time doing is painting and writing? Teaching is something I enjoy, but it is secondary to painting and writing. So, it would make more sense for that to be the part time endeavor, rather than the other way around. So then, what is the degree actually worth? Education is always valuable. But you don’t have to always pay a lot for it. I had a full tuition scholarship for my undergraduate degree and I still walked away with a ridiculous amount of student loans for supplies, books, and living expenses. Having only recently paid all those off, I’m not too eager to get back into debt. It goes against our larger goal of financial freedom.

In a perfect world, we’d both be able to read, write, and create as much as we want. Our home would be paid for; our other expenses would be minimal; we could easily make enough money to pay for what we needed. We could grow some of our own food (well, Brian could anyway. I like the idea of gardens much more than the reality!). The simple life really appeals to me.

I went back to the states for a visit before Christmas. While there, I went to visit a friend who is living with her grandmother for awhile. Her grandmother is about 80, I think, and she is a prolific painter. When I walked into the garage from the driveway, I had to stop and stare. All the walls were lined with paintings. It was amazing. And there in the corner was her little studio. I talked to her about her paintings, naturally. I asked her if she ever sold them.

“No,” she said. “I don’t want to deal with that. I don’t want someone judging my work and saying it’s not good enough. It’s good enough for me. That’s what matters.”

I love her attitude. I don’t think you can ever really create something great for any reason other than because it is what your soul demands that you do. I’m not sure where I’m going with that other than to say that I wonder how much of my desire to get a degree is just my ego. I wonder if I’d be just as happy to paint and write, no matter what anyone else though of my work. Is it enough to just create? If you take away the financial pressure, is it enough to just create whatever your soul demands?

Literally, green. I have a piece of bedroom furniture with which I’ve had this love-hate relationship. It is a “high-boy” chest of drawers. My mom bought it for me when I was a teenager. It matches my 4 poster rice-carved bed. It’s a southern thing, I guess. Anyway. It was in storage for several years b/c I couldn’t fit it into a dorm room or small apartment, and had deteriorated a bit. I lived with wobbly drawers for a few years after we brought it into our house. Then, when we rearranged everything to create the nursery, Brian lost his chest of drawers to the baby. So, he began sharing the high boy with me. Of course, then he finally listened to my complaints about the drawers and fixed them. You, see, the dog sleeps under it and he was afraid on of the drawers was going to fall out onto her in the morning when he was trying to match socks. Ultimately the concern was for the dog, not the wife’s inconvenience. Oh well, at least it got fixed. Anyway, I already had it in my head that I hated the thing after dealing with the annoying drawers for so long. We looked around for a dresser to replace it, something with more drawers since we were now sharing. But the pieces we liked were about $2000. Yikes. And we’re trying to spend less and keep life simple, right? I don’t mind spending the money on something nice that will last for years, but here it was really a matter of me being annoyed and bored with the item.

So, after being inspired by a friend’s old furniture reclamation, I decided to give the old boy a face lift. I was thinking about painting it red. I love all things red. But this guy is a large piece of furniture, and I was a little concerned that red might be overwhelming. Then I found a picture of green chest in the Pottery Barn catalog. So, I decided to do something completely outside my comfort zone and go green. I perused the paint chips and Lowe’s and finally found a color I thought would work—Laura Ashley Home Moss 5, in a satin finish.

The first two images are almost before photos (I never remember to take pics before I start!). It was a stained cherry wood. I have no interest in sanding and all that business, so I decided to just prime and paint. I used some leftover primer we had from one of the rental properties, kind of a tan color. Really just something for the paint to stick to, right? Then I put 2 coats of the green paint. I used about half a quart. Then I went back with a bit of mahogany stain and rubbed it in all the edges and decorative details to create an aged look. I’m thinking I could go back and do some more of that to give it an even more distressed appearance, but I’m going to wait and let this sink in. I don’t want to over-do it and then hate it…then we’d just be back to buying a $2K dresser!

Anyhow, I think it turned out pretty nice. Brian spray painted the hardware (previously and ugly brass) with a hammered oiled bronze finish. They look kind of dark in the photos, but better in person. Either way an improvement over the brass.

Thoughts about doing something with my life:

Since reading “The 4-Hour Work Week,” I really find myself torn between the idea of an automated business that would allow us to travel and be financially free and a small “homegrown” type business that would be personally gratifying. I guess it is the difference between freedom and accomplishment. I guess either would be an accomplishment, but the latter is a more direct expression of my ideas and efforts. Really I’d like to have both I guess. It would be nice to have an automated business bringing in income so that I could open a retail business without the huge risk to our personal finances. But then I think that a retail business is a huge time commitment, not just in hours per week, but in years to come. I think with that we would really need to have a 5 year plan for franchising and making our escape from the day to day grind. Or at least lessening it. In 5 years, I’d like to have the time and flexibility to travel a month out of every three or four.

It is just so hard to take that leap, to have the confidence to go out on your own. I find it so much easier to motivate a friend of mine who is working on a business project, than to motivate myself. Why is that? It is so easy for me to see that her idea is fabulous and will work great as an automated business. Why is it that when you are considering your own ideas, things aren’t so clear? It gets personal. Your self doubt rears its ugly head. But then there is also the attachment to your brain-child. Would you be able to let it go if it really wasn’t working? You see, I’m my own worst enemy! Every business book I’ve read has said Ready, Fire, Aim…and here I sit over-contemplating everything trying to get that Aim just right. How does one get past that need to plan and have everything just so?

It is so true that if you think through everything you’ll never do anything. If we’d really been thinking, we would never had bought either of our rental properties. They required way more work than we realized, and had we known that we would not have bought them. As it turned out, even with the excess of work and expense, they have been successful and profitable. And if we’d really thought through having a child, we might not have done that either But aren’t we glad we did? (Yes.)

What a great book! I just read The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss. It was fabulous! It is like a brilliant combination of Cashflow Quadrant, E-Myth Revisited, and Your Money or Your Life.

The biggest issue I have with the idea of simple living is that it often gets confused with frugal living. Frugal living has its place in the world, but it isn’t always simple. Conversely simple living isn’t always frugal. Your Money or Your Life is about frugality. The idea behind the frugality is enabling yourself to do what you really dream of in life, with the focus on the doing, not the having. The Rich Dad, Poor Dad series of books are about getting the passive income to cover your expenses in order to do whatever you want with your life, while also having the cash to buy whatever you want in life. So, the same basic premise, but two entirely different approaches.

4-Hour Work Week challenges you to first determine what it is that you want to do with your life when you don’t have to go to work every day. This is important because otherwise, you’ll just fall into another version of working yourself to death. With your goals in mind, you then determine exactly how much money you need per month. That dollar amount is your target for not only getting out of the rat race of needing a job to pay your monthly bills, but also having the excess cash to enjoy your new found freedom. This is what Your Money or Your Life lacks. It sets up a formula for achieving financial freedom, but it is the freedom to live frugally. The 4-Hour Work Week gives a formula for freedom to live “like a rock star“…if that’s what you want. That said, Ferriss also encourages the simplification of your life so as to provide ultimate mobility. So, get rid of all your excess crap. How much of that stuff do you really use? If you really look at your life, the most value is in experiences and memories, rather than the doodads you have lying around. Kiyosaki’s board game Cash Flow has spaces that correlate with cards called “doodads,” which are basically ways to waste your money. In the game, landing on these spaces is completely random, you must buy the doodad. Fortunately in real life, you can choose to stop the conspicuous consumption.

So, you define your goals and simplify your life to reflect your values. How then, to escape your job? This ties into the E-Myth Revisited, which explains how most entrepreneurs create themselves another job rather than a business. Ferriss stresses the importance of automation, taking yourself out of the way of your business. Start out with the end in mind. Plan it out from the beginning to be automated. This is easier with some businesses than others. He recommends marketing and selling your intellectual property as that is more difficult for someone to knock-off.

Once your job is replaced by passive income, you’re back to the beginning question, “what do you want to do?” If you figured that out to begin with, you’re ready to roll. Ferriss recommends “mini” retirements spread throughout the year. Travel becomes a true discovery of your destination, rather than a rushed, skim-the-surface tour. Ultimately when the charm of those initial goals wears thin, the “what to do with life” question resurfaces with more weight. Just as the authors discuss in Your Money or Your Life, you have to figure out what it is that will give your life meaning. Maybe it is writing a novel, or rescuing animals, or volunteering with local agencies. It’s the thing that pays you in ways other than money.

What did I take from the book? Well, Brian and I are brainstorming business ideas with a goal of having an automated business up and running (and profitable) by March ’09. The goal then is to have enough passive income by 2013 to get out of the rat race, quit our jobs, and travel. Meanwhile we are aggressively paying down all of our debt to reduce expenses so that the dollars we earn go further. Although, living abroad can be cheaper than the US in a lot of cases. Alex will be old enough to understand and learn from the experiences. And then we don’t have to worry about the public/private school issue here in the city…the answer is NEITHER! Imagine the education he could attain from world travel! I intend to make sure he never falls for the trap of thinking he needs school to get a job. Education should be for personal development. I want him to understand from a young age that the idea is to make a “life” not a “living.”

Everyone wants to save a buck where they can, but in our daily lives we often miss those opportunites. You really have to pay attention to make sure you are getting the best price. For example, we were getting cat and dog food at Petsmart last week, and the label on the shelf showed $5 off the regular price of dog food. When we got to the check out, however, it rang up at full price. Fortunately I was paying attention. I explained to the cashier that the food was labeled $5 off on the shelf. She had to walk back there with me to verify this, of course. Turns out the tag was from last week’s sale, but since it was still on the shelf, she honored the price, and we saved $5. That is a pretty good return on an investment of 2 or 3 minutes of my time. It shows how important it is to make sure your receipts reflect the advertised prices.

Other times, it isn’t so simple. We recently bought a travel system (carseat/stroller) for the baby. This was one of the most expensive baby purchases we’ve made. The day we checked out they gave us coupons for 15% off starting the next week. That was annoying. I’d liked to have saved 15% on that item! Then, the next day I get a 15% off coupon emailed from the store, which was even retroactive a few days. Had they sent it on time I could have used it on the travel system. I debated on whether we should return the system (we haven’t used it yet) and buy another with the coupon. The coupons say “not valid on prior purchases” so I didn’t think they would do a price adjustment. I debated over this for just over a week, then decided I should at least call and speak to the manager. When I called and explained the situation, she said they typically only make adjustments for the first 7 days, which I’d just missed. So, I asked her if she could make an exception. She said yes, I’d just need to come into the store and see her for the refund. That saved us $43! And we didn’t have to go through the hassle of returning the item. It pays to ask!

I had a nice breakfast friday, with some friends with whom I’d worked at May Co. We got to talking about how different our lives are now versus when we were working. We were all making quite a bit of money, especially by midwestern standards. But we were all equally miserable. Where did all that money even go? I can’t believe how much I spent on clothes and shoes and crap for the house. A bunch of stuff I really didn’t need. And I probably wasn’t as bad as most people. But it was like a compulsion. I’d go to a store and feel like I HAD to buy something. It was a way of filling the void left by an abusive workplace. We were so degraded there. There was constant criticism. Our VP even admitted once that they were so negative and hard on us because they truly believed we wouldn’t work as hard if they gave us praise. Wow, hard to believe that company went out of business! Anyway, all three of us are on different career paths now. We could have gone and gotten fashion jobs making as much or more than we were at May, but we opted out of that whole scene. We were all really burnt out and bitter and our self esteem had suffered. We each realized that the money just wasn’t worth that. So even though our household incomes had been basically cut in half after quitting, we were much happier. And the interesting part was that our standards of living hadn’t really changed. All that money was pretty much down the drain to make up for our misery at work. I think a great deal of Americans fall into that pattern of rewarding themselves for putting up with an awful job, whether it is through shopping, drinking, or whatever addictive entertainment makes those 40+ hours a week tolerable. And why? For an illusion of security? Because working a 9-5 (or so) is a guaranteed paycheck? Well tell that to all those who’ve unexpectedly lost their jobs due to mergers and consolidations. There is no such thing as job security; it’s like Santa or the Easter Bunny. Of course, sometimes a job is necessary. Somebody has to bring in the money to pay the bills. The point of my reflection on my working days is that they were a big waste of my time because of how I spent my money. I should have been stashing away as much of my paycheck as possible to pay off student loans and for savings. At least that would have some tangible benefit for the future. If I had to have a job again, I would look at things very differently. I would make sure I was maximizing my income and using it in the absolute smartest way possible. It never makes sense to say “I deserve this because I work so hard.” If you wouldn’t buy it if you didn’t have the job, you shouldn’t buy it at all. Reward yourself by building a nest egg that will either let you retire from your job early, or maybe just quit altogether and pursue a different path. But realize that spending your money by shopping for things you really don’t need or by eating out all the time or by going to happy hour every friday won’t solve the problem at hand. That is just treating the symptoms, not what is causing them.