White Orchid Melody Blog

What really matters in life anyway? What is it that you’ll be so glad you did when you are on your deathbed? It most likely isn’t your job. Unless your job is doing something for which you have a true passion, but that is very rare. I think we all want to feel like we’ve contributed to the world in whatever way we best could. For some people that’s as simple as being a good mom (I said simple, not easy!). For others it’s advocating for the rights of those less fortunate.

Several months ago, I read The Art of Non-Conformity. It’s a great book about living life outside the rat race. Want to go back to school? Try his plan for a one-year independent study MBA, and save yourself a boatload of money. One of the things he brings up in the book, though, is that in order to really be fulfilled, you must find a way to give back to the world. We all want that feeling of having made a difference.

I’m not yet sure what that means for me. I have some long-term ideas about how I can make a difference by helping to motivate others to pursue their creative dreams. But the details of how to actually do that are still fuzzy. I’ve been of the mind recently that grad school is the way to go. If I get an MFA, I can teach. I really enjoyed the teaching I did before Alex was born, but do I want to do that full time? As far as jobs go, academia is pretty awesome. Summers off, anyone??? But one thing I know is that I’m not comfortable going into debt in order to get that degree. I value financial freedom more than any further education.

I fall into the trap of thinking, oh if I could just get that advanced degree then I could have a job I liked and make enough money to get by. But is all that really, truly, necessary? Or is it just an excuse to take the easy route? Degrees and jobs and career paths are the way things are done around here. It is a life script that we are all familiar with; it’s comfortable. To think of the alternatives is scary! No job? How will I survive? (Yes, I do have a husband, but the goal is for him to do what he loves, too!)

Our goal is to both be living our passion on a daily basis. And since we are two pretty headstrong people, our passion doesn’t involve taking direction from any one else. Not that we can’t. We’re both good at playing along with the corporate racket, but at the same time it kills one’s soul a little bit more every day. I know I could never have a corporate job again. Maybe I could handle academia. But do I really want that? Or do I want to have my days to myself and decide what I’d like to spend my time doing moment to moment?

Well, when you put it like that….

Another great book we read is Your Money or Your Life. The authors write about some unconventional approaches to work/life balance, with the general idea being to reduce your spending to the point of not needing to work as much. We’ve read other simple living books that espouse the same principles. And with that knowledge we have simplified our lives. We don’t buy so much useless crap. We choose quality products that will last a long time rather than what’s cheapest (this is also good for the planet, by the way). We aren’t perfect, and we definitely aren’t what you’d call thrifty, but most of our purchases are thoughtful at the very least. And we’ve come a long way from where we were when we first got married.

When I think about what I love to do, it’s obviously painting and writing. It’s not teaching. So why would teaching be my full time job when what I actually want to spend time doing is painting and writing? Teaching is something I enjoy, but it is secondary to painting and writing. So, it would make more sense for that to be the part time endeavor, rather than the other way around. So then, what is the degree actually worth? Education is always valuable. But you don’t have to always pay a lot for it. I had a full tuition scholarship for my undergraduate degree and I still walked away with a ridiculous amount of student loans for supplies, books, and living expenses. Having only recently paid all those off, I’m not too eager to get back into debt. It goes against our larger goal of financial freedom.

In a perfect world, we’d both be able to read, write, and create as much as we want. Our home would be paid for; our other expenses would be minimal; we could easily make enough money to pay for what we needed. We could grow some of our own food (well, Brian could anyway. I like the idea of gardens much more than the reality!). The simple life really appeals to me.

I went back to the states for a visit before Christmas. While there, I went to visit a friend who is living with her grandmother for awhile. Her grandmother is about 80, I think, and she is a prolific painter. When I walked into the garage from the driveway, I had to stop and stare. All the walls were lined with paintings. It was amazing. And there in the corner was her little studio. I talked to her about her paintings, naturally. I asked her if she ever sold them.

“No,” she said. “I don’t want to deal with that. I don’t want someone judging my work and saying it’s not good enough. It’s good enough for me. That’s what matters.”

I love her attitude. I don’t think you can ever really create something great for any reason other than because it is what your soul demands that you do. I’m not sure where I’m going with that other than to say that I wonder how much of my desire to get a degree is just my ego. I wonder if I’d be just as happy to paint and write, no matter what anyone else though of my work. Is it enough to just create? If you take away the financial pressure, is it enough to just create whatever your soul demands?

Last week I started reading Vegetable, Animal, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It was so good I even took it to Istanbul with me. And yes, I had time for reading while there. Traveling with a toddler is very different than on your own. Naptime is mandatory. So, while he napped, I napped a bit, then read.

The book is the story of one family’s decision to eat locally for a year. They planned to feed themselves from their own garden, local farms, and the farmers’ market. This means no bananas from South America, no apples from New Zealand. Do you know where your food comes from? If you are like me, you probably never really thought about it.

I have thought about it insofar as to say that while living in St. Louis it was more important to me to eat organic food than local food. This is because of Monsanto, of course. In that neighborhood, if it isn’t organically certified it’s probably genetically modified. But anyway. That was as far as I thought about the issue.

Fast forward to 2010: I’m living in Italy. I buy a lot of my food locally, all my produce for sure. But I’m still making these mammoth shopping trips to the base once a month for “staples.” Staples, really? Are they really staples if people here don’t buy them? Well, partly it is a financial thing, with some foods being cheaper. Partly it is familiarity, not having to figure out what is the local equivalent. Very little of it is truly unavailable here. I’ve just been lazy.

In reading this book I realized the true price of my laziness. Not only does going shopping at the base stress me out and leave me in an ill mood, it also costs enormous resources, both in fossil fuels and tax dollars. That food is mostly priced the same here as in the states. In reality it is much more expensive for having been shipped overseas. Who pays the difference? The tax payer, of course. This was all the motivation I needed to kill those monthly trips. Truth be told, I can live without cheddar cheese. And that is about the only thing that is truly unavailable at the local stores.

So, I feel kind of stupid. I mean I know I’m only human, and we are all notoriously naive about all sorts of things. But one of my motivations for being vegetarian is caring about our planet and being opposed to factory farming. Meat is definitely the big boy when it comes to detrimental farming practices, but shipping regular food staples all over the planet instead of getting them locally is just as bad for the environment. So, I am confessing my idiocy and pledging to do better.

The book talks about how detached we have become from our food sources. We, as Americans, have no idea where our food comes from or when it is in season. If you actually buy fresh fruit and vegetables and not all processed crap, you are that much closer to your food, but still. You probably buy South American bananas every week, not just as an occasional treat. I have heard stories from when our parents were small about getting citrus fruit for christmas. This sounded crazy to me. (Fruit? What about toys?) But winter is citrus season in the US, so it makes sense. It was a winter treat. The fact that we now have bags of oranges year round isn’t natural.

Moving here, I have been so amazed by how good everything tastes. I thought it was the volcanic soil, but now I realize it is the difference in eating with the seasons. I bought fresh cherries today that are just to die for! I hated cherries in the states because I’d never tried any that were good, probably because they didn’t grow near where I lived. Same for sweet peppers. We have the most amazing red and yellow peppers here. They really are “sweet” peppers, not bitter like the ones you buy in American supermarkets.

I love good food. In my opinion, life is simply too short to eat food that doesn’t taste good. We aren’t designed to eat food that doesn’t taste good. Factory farmed food that has been shipped halfway across the country started out with less flavor and then lost what it did have in shipping. In nature, flavor equals nutrition. When you detox from processed crap and start eating real food, you realize your body craves certain flavors based on what nutrients you need. Your body craves heavier food in the winter to keep warm and lighter food in the summer when it is hot. Your body knows what it is doing.

Not only have we forgotten where our food comes from and when it naturally appears, but we have also forgotten what to do with it. What do you do in January or February when (you don’t live in southern Italy and) there isn’t fresh produce? You eat the food you preserved in the summer when it was abundant. Preserving food is a lost art. I have a date with my mother-in-law for sometime in the future when we are stateside to show me how to can food. Even if you don’t have your own garden, you can go to the farmers’ market and buy a boatload of whatever is in season and put it away in bags in your freezer or canned in the basement. Don’t think you have space? Stop buying things in cardboard boxes and you’ll find you have more space in your freezer (and probably more dollars in your wallet).

While living here, I will continue to eat whatever is available at the market whenever it is available, rather than trying to preserve things. I don’t think there was any point this winter that we didn’t have relatively local produce at the corner market. Sometimes from Sicily, but that is still pretty close. But whenever we move back to the states, I will certainly be planning ahead for winter when produce is not available locally. This week I’ll be venturing out locally to see if I can’t check off the items on my shopping list without wasting all those resources. It’s just one more thing I can do to make the world a better place. Every little bit helps!

I cancelled weightwatchers today. The free week was very insightful and inspiring. I discovered what a pig I really am, as well as some ways to be less so.

Brian thinks the whole paying-someone-to-use-a-website-to-keep-track-of-what-you-eat is ridiculous. He challenged me to make my own spreadsheet. So I designed an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of my eating each week. It has a starting weight as well as the starting “points” like they do in ww. Basically it is a simplified version of calorie counting. I started using it today. It turned out nicely, I must say. And what a great lesson in frugality and simplicity! I get exactly the tools I use, none of the useless extras and it’s FREE. Nice. I wish I was smart enough to figure out how to share it here.

I’ve been making Alex’s babyfood since he started solids. It is very easy and a frugal way to make sure he’s getting the healthiest food possible. It is much cheaper to buy a pound of organic green beans than a pound of organic baby food! The idea is to make large batches and freeze, then when it is time to feed baby, you just pull out a few cubes, thaw, and serve.

Most pediatricians recommend starting with baby rice cereal. Rice allergies are extremely rare, so it is a safe choice. Commercial rice cereal often has more in it than rice, however. It has added iron, but otherwise is pretty skimpy nutritionally speaking. I initially tried to give Alex homemade oatmeal, which I ground up in the food processor prior to cooking. It was still too chunky though. So, I pureed some bananas, and he started on that. They get nice and runny in the food processor! We then introduced other foods, sweet potatoes, peas, applesauce, but held off on the grains until 6 months.

The primary source of nutrition during the first year should be breastmilk or formula. So when you are just starting out, it is more about getting them to learn how to eat solids and exploring different flavors and textures. As your baby approaches his first year birthday, you can gradually shift to a diet based more on solids. It is important to meet all their caloric needs, so grains become more important. You don’t want to fill their bellies with low calorie fruits and veggies. Grains (and closer to one year, protein) should be the foundation, with fruits and veggies on the side.

I found a couple of resources to be very helpful. One is the site wholesomebabyfood. And the other is the book Super Baby Foodby Ruth Yaron. Neither is a complete source, but they compliment each other well. Yaron’s book is a good reference for nutrition and making sure your baby gets a balanced diet. Wholesomebabyfood is great for cooking tips and recipes.

Supplies
To make your own baby food you will need:
1. A food processoror blender(if possible get both)
2. Ice cube trays (I love these, from Tupperware!)
3. Zipper bags

Grains
Making your own oatmeal, brown rice, and other baby cereals is super easy! Here is where a blender comes in handy. It grinds up hard things like grains much better than the food processor, which just seems to throw it around. This is especially true with rice. Just pour your grains, about a cup, into the blender and blend until it is a fine powder. There may still be some chunkier pieces, but get it as smooth as possible. As your baby gets bigger, you won’t need it to be quite as smooth. After my grains are ground up fine, I put them in a ziploc freezer bag. When it is time to feed baby, just boil your water, 4 Tbsp for every 1 Tbsp of cereal, and add your grains. Cook on low, stirring well to keep it smooth. Oatmeal takes only about 5 minutes, while rice takes longer, maybe 15 minutes. Always get whole grains–brown rice, rolled oats, etc. No nutritionally devoid “instant” foods please. It is already super fast! After the grains have cooked you can whisk in breastmilk or formula to thin to the desired consistency. Or add fruits, veggies, etc.

Fruits and Veggies
These are a two step process. First, you need to cook the fruit or vegetable. This is true for all but the softest fruits (banana or avocado). I steam everything. It maintains more of the nutritional value than other methods. You’ll want to steam the food until it is really, really soft, mushy even. If it isn’t soft from the cooking, you will have a difficult time getting it smooth in the food processor. Some foods are very liquidy–pears, plums, and peaches. Some will turn out more creamy–sweet potatoes and avocados. And some will never be smooth, not matter how hard you try–green beans and peas.

After you’ve cooked your food to a mush, put it in the food processor and puree until it is as smooth as possible. This may take longer than you’d expect. Just keep at it until it isn’t getting any smoother. You can add water for smaller babies to make it thinner. As your baby gets older, you can leave it chunkier.

When the puree is as smooth as you’d like it, grab your handy rubber spatula. Now, I mentioned above that I really like the Tupperware ice cube trays with a lid. I tried cheap trays and they shattered the first time I tried to get the food out, or I’d have to use a knife to pry it out without cracking the tray….this left little shards of plastic in the food—NOT what we want to feed baby! Since getting the Tupperware trays, I’ve had no problems. Looks like they are hard to find now, as they are no longer on the tupperware site, but it could just be a seasonal thing. Anyway, grab your ice tray and coat with non-stick canola or olive oil spray. Then spread in the puree. Put on the lid, if it has one, otherwise cover with foil. Freeze for about 4 hours. The longer you freeze past 4 hours, the more difficult it is to get them out. Not a big deal if you have quality trays, but if using cheaper trays, definitely try to pull it out after 4 hours. I have left mine in overnight and they’ve been more difficult to get out, but not horrible. If they are stuck, run hot water over the bottom of the tray (while the lid is on!). Okay, now transfer to your ziploc freezer bag and label it. You don’t want to be staring at 3 bags of orange cubes wondering which is carrots, sweet potatoes, and peaches!

The Menu
When we first started solids, we only gave him fruit or vegetables. Again, breastmilk or formula is the primary nutritional source. But after 6 months, we started working on more grains and things. Around 8-9 months, we added protein sources (vegetarian, of course). I don’t see the point in feeding a baby meat. They don’t have teeth! Or at least not enough to chew meat. Anyway. We do a lentil puree by similar method to the veggies, except I cook the lentils on the stove.

How many meals, how much to offer? I think your baby will let you know. At first, he’d eat one cube at the most. Now, at ten months, his dinner consists of: 1/2 to 3/4 cup of grains, plus one cube of lentil and one cube of pear, plus 1/4 cup of applesauce; then 2 to 4 cubes of vegetables. I also add nutritional enhancers–tahini paste for fat, ground flaxseed for omega-3 fats, wheat germ for folic acid and vitamin e. We feed him his “porridge,” then his veggies, and then small bites of whatever we are eating as we finish dinner. As you can see he eats quite a lot now. He lets us know when he is still hungry (grunting, reaching for our food) or when he has had enough (turning his head or laying it on his shoulder). Don’t try to force your baby to eat. He’ll eat if he wants to, leave it at that.

I’ve been reading a book that I checked out from the library entitled, The Complete Tightwad Gazette. It is basically a series of newsletters from the 6 year run of the Tightwad Gazette. It is a compilation of articles and research from the author, as well as lots of helpful hints sent in from readers.

The tips tend to be about getting the maximum use out of the minimum expense. So, buying things used (or getting them free from friends/family) and then maintaining them rather than just throwing them out when they need a repair. This is fiscally and ecologically sound advice. I once read an article by a “green” home designer who pointed out that spending extra money for “green” was absurd because the most economical choice was usually also the most ecological choice, such as building a smaller house. The author of the Tightwad Gazette, who titles herself, the “frugal zealot” points out that there are a few cases where buying new is best, such as with freezers/refrigerators (due to improvements in efficiency) and with computers (due to improvements in technology). But almost everything else, she buys used or salvages from free sources.

This got me thinking about my business plan for the shop I’d like to open. I’m working with a consultant on this and have written the business plan and even did a “faux shopping” exercise where I priced out everything I’d need for the shop. Well, turns out it was going to be much more expensive than I could afford to open. So, I have a few choices. One, abandon the idea altogether and find something more attainable. Two, save up for years and years until I can afford it. Or, three, find a way to do it cheaper. I’ve been pondering over that last option for a few months now. How can I make this happen sooner and for less cash? I wasn’t really thinking about the business when I started reading this book, but then I read an article in the book about a lady who had started a bed and breakfast. They bought the 20 room Victorian as a fixer-upper and started by renovating the common areas and a few guest rooms. As they brought in money from the first few guest rooms, they worked on renovating more. Meanwhile, they furnished the place with elegant pieces from estate sales, yard sales, flea markets and the like. They also bartered and traded for certain items. They had a dream and made it happen on their terms. How inspiring!

So it got me thinking about my “faux shopping” exercise. I’d chosen everything brand new from retail sources. I’d found the cheapest versions for the look I wanted, but still, I was paying a premium for all that “newness.” What if I took the time to accumulate the items from a variety of thrifty sources, including yard sales and thrift shops? How would that affect my budget? I think it could make a huge difference. Some of the ideas that appealed to me:

1. Estate/Yard Sales – tables, chairs, storage pieces, baskets, kid’s paint brushes, decorative items such as faux foliage, flatware, serving dishes, books

2. Flea Markets – decorative items, furniture

3. Building Supply (or surplus) Stores – the ReStore, run by Habitat for Humanity, has a random, ever-changing selection of building supplies, from tile to cabinets, to windows. Some of these items could be transformed into storage and display pieces for the shop.

4. Home Improvement Stores – reject paints: the ones that people had mixed and then didn’t claim, or that were mixed incorrectly. This could be great for adding color and fun to the salvaged furniture.

5. Other – I’d also like to look into going out of business sales and overstock type outlets. I’m not sure what exists in this area, but even a trip to Chicago could be worth it, if there were some good sources for used/discount supplies.

The biggest chunk of change in my business plan was the rent on a space. The area I was originally looking into was fairly expensive and buying was not an option. But I’ve been considering other neighborhoods, such as close to our own home, where we might be able to purchase as space, rather than leasing. Ideally, we’d find an old building with storefronts on the lower level and apartments above. We could rent the apartments to cover some of the mortgage, which would ease some of the business expenses. Plus if you own the building, you can build out however you’d like.

We’re not the average entrepreneurs who would need contractors and such to fix up and outfit a space. That will be a great savings on our part. If we own the building and are getting rental income from residential space, we can take our time fixing up the retail space without the pressure of that monthly rent outlay. So the combination of buying our own building and outfitting it with frugal finds gives me hope that my dream of opening the shop in the not so long term future may actually be possible.

I did quite a bit of cooking over Christmas and even more eating! My stepdad sent us a Honeybaked Ham, which we enjoyed on Christmas eve. And then I made a giant turkey for Christmas day.

Yes, giant. As in, I wasn’t sure it was going to fit in the pan. The small grocery where I shop only had 20+ lb turkeys. Way too much for the four of us, I knew. But the turkey breasts were so much more per pound, that it was exactly the same price to get a breast as a whole bird. And with needing to stock a freezer for after the baby comes, I figured leftovers weren’t the worst thing.

In the wake of a billion dollar do-it-yourself industry, I find it fascinating how many of us have forgotten how to maintain our belongings. I too fall prey to the “it’s broken, get a new one” mentality at times. I certainly don’t know how to fix a toaster and even if I did, would it be worth my time for the $10 to buy a new one? But if you take a global perspective, it is better to repair what you have rather than just tossing it out to pile up in a landfill somewhere. I recently bought some sheets, got them home, laundered them, and discovered that one of the seams had a hole on the fitted sheet. Frustrated at having a hole in my new sheets, I thought about returning them to the store. But then what happens to the otherwise perfectly good sheets? They get trashed. So, I took 2 minutes and sewed up the seam myself. While I was sewing, I was thinking about how many people wouldn’t even know how to sew up a seam. With a fashion design background, I have a sewing machine and know how to use it. But I certainly don’t know how to hand sew (anything other than a button anyway). I think of our great grandmothers who sewed beautiful dresses and quilts all by hand. That is a lost art. I’d venture to say most forms of self-sustenance are lost. At the risk of offending the masses, I’d venture to say it is largely laziness. I really don’t care to take the time to learn to fix a toaster. I’d rather enjoy my leisure time. When I first got married, my husband wasn’t exactly Mr. Fix-It. But he certainly is now. Just this weekend, he repaired 3 of our second story doors so that they actually close and latch for the first time since we’ve lived here (and probably the first time in 50 years). All it takes is trial-and-error and some self education, seeking out the answers from people who know. I think past generations stopped offering advice because it fell on deaf ears. You have to ask them if you want to know their “survival” secrets. One must also be willing to risk making it worse! Our first home improvement project was replacing the door knob on our front door….we ended up with a new door. But that sort of thing hasn’t happened very often! Most times we’ve found that the repair was much easier than we were anticipating. Fear of the unknown keeps you inert. Just taking a bit of time and a bit of risk can have a huge impact on reducing our waste. Every little bit helps.